


Sometimes You Keep it Near, Sometimes You Let Go

by XOXO - Satan (JesuslivesinNewMexico)



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Established Relationship, Good Parent Jaskier, Guilt, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Nightmares, Young Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, soulless
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:02:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22184542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JesuslivesinNewMexico/pseuds/XOXO%20-%20Satan
Summary: Geralt and Jaskier are back to traveling after finally finding Cirilla. Geralt and Jaskier love each other dearly but after and argument Jaskier walks off to cool down. Upon his return he finds the campsite under attack.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Sometimes You Keep it Near, Sometimes You Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> I know almost zero lore for this fandom just what's in the show so... There's also stuff from Skyrim i'm just adding in here because I can and it's what I want to do. I hope you like it I've literally changed the plot 100 times so sorry if it's a bit crazy. This is the first fic i've written for this fandom so sorry if they're out of character. Also I don't really like Yennefer she just seems like an unlikable character but I don't hate her so i'm trying to be nice I know a lot of people like her. Also I'm horrible at poetry so all my songs are definitely borrowed.

Geralt trails behind Jaskier and Ciri, pulling Roach behind him as they make their way along the forest path to the next town over, a little more that a two day walk. Jaskier is strumming his lute while singing a ditty the children in the towns they visit seem to enjoy. Ciri is humming along lost in some daydream until she begins to slowly wander off after something that catches her eye. Geralt watches as Jaskier stops his playing after noticing the girl leave the path and go further away towards the trees.

"Ciri come back to the path!" He hollered. Watching as she snapped out of her trance and came back to his side looking a tad sheepish. "Don't stray." Ciri nodded her head in agreement. Jaskier goes back to his lute resuming where his fingers left off. Geralt watched as the light filtering through the trees became dimmer and dimmer until eventually the sky was painted a smattering of orange and pink indicating the descent into dusk. Jaskier seemed to finish up the story he was spinning to Ciri and fell back a bit to stand shoulder to shoulder with Geralt. Geralt sees him attach his lute to his back and smile up at Geralt. Geralt returned this with his own smile, if it could even be called that. To any other human but Jaskier it might look like a grimace, but Jaskier saw the softness of his eyes, something others don't pay attention to. The bard interlocks their hands and he leans a bit into Geralt's side. 

"I think we'll make camp soon if I'm not mistaken?" Jaskier asks. Geralt replying with his usual grunt of, 

"Hmm." Jaskier continues,

"They say brevity is the soul of wit, but love I think your taking the proverb a bit too seriously. Not that I dislike your grunts" He teases. Geralt lets out a small chuckle and eyes Jaskier saying,

"What do 'they' say about bards who don't stop talking?" Jaskier laughs and slaps his arm getting a sly smirk from Geralt.

"They say we're the best at our craft and good at talking witchers into bed." Jaskier muses. 

"Sure bard." Geralt watches the golden rays that pierced the canopy of the woods dance across Jaskier's face. The light illuminating parts of his hair showing the hidden red of his dark curls. He was so beautiful.

"I was thinking of crafting a new song and I want your input. It's aboutGeralt looks ahead at Ciri dancing around with her doll having a conversation with it. She had a full imagination, something Geralt was grateful for. He regrets running away from his surprise child for so long. Ten years was too long he thinks looking at all the time he could've had with her that he missed. A few years ago he had a fight with Jaskier and said things that he regrets bitterly keeping Jaskier away for sometime. Yet it led him to search for Cirilla, that he doesn't regret. Later on Jaskier and him bumped into each other at a pub near Ellander on his way to Cintra. Geralt had just come back from a hunt and was ready to spend at least one night in a warm bed rather than a roll on the ground in a cold forest. Geralt entered the pub and wasn't surprised by the stares he got as he walked in, what he was surprised by was seeing a familiar brunette in royal blue. Jaskier hadn't seemed to notice him so Geralt payed for his room and headed towards him. Turns out Jaskier was there drinking with another man, looked like a somewhat wealthy guy. Geralt decided to sit in the corner and observe. The man was all over the bard touching his thigh and leaning in close to talk as if their flirtations were secret. Geralt had felt anger and jealousy coil in his stomach which he promptly washed down with a swig of ale. He couldn't have expected Jaskier to remain faithful when he had all but said he was the cause of his misfortunes sending him away and essentially ruining their relationship. Eventually the man had led Jaskier up the stairs to what he could only was his room so Geralt had left instead to visit Roach tied up outside behind the building. He hadn't expected a bag to be dropped on his head from the upstairs window. Even more so looking up and Geralt seeing a royal blue figure jumping out after it. Jaskier landed like a cat on his feet and stood face to face with Geralt. 

"Oh. Geralt.. long time no see! How long has it been what a year, year and a half?" He said with mock enthusiasm. Looking at his face he had the beginning of a black eye forming not to mention a gash on his forehead slowly leaking blood.

"What happened to your face." he'd asked with thinly veiled concern. Jaskier looked away.

"I was with a guy inside who forced my sister to quarter his men, who then forced my sisters family to sleep in their own barn then tore up the whole house and took her horses when they left. He just happened to stop by so I got him drunk and lifted this off him." He finished holding up a large sack of either silver or gold, either way it was a lot of money. 

"You stole this Jaskier?" he asked incredulously but also relieved that Jaskier hadn't slept with that man. Jaskier put the coin in his pocket and looked back at him sharply. 

"Yeah I did, and i'm going to head to Cintra to my sisters house and give this to her before that dickhead wakes up." He brushed past Geralt and began to walk off but Geralt grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"Wait." Jaskier stopped and looked at him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said at the mountains. I regretted what I said almost immediately after I said it but I was too prideful to go after you. But I should have and so i'm sorry." Jaskier didn't respond he seemed to struggle with the information before he quirked a smile and said,

"I think that's the most words you've ever strung together Geralt; and did I hear you say sorry THREE times!" Jaskier cracked himself up. Geralt brought his other hand to hold the one that he already held and looked serious still.Jakier stopped chuckling.

"I'm serious Jaskier, I don't expect you to forgive but I'm truly sorry. You don't shovel the shit I dig myself there, the only time it didn't feel that was was with you at my side singing and playing that lute of yours." Jaskier reared up and hugged Geralt, and Geralt not one to look a gift horse in the mouth hugged back. 

"I was so lonely without you. I knew you didn't mean what you said at the mountains but it hurt to much to stick around. I forgive you Geralt." He said with a tearful but confident voice. They pulled apart and Geralt asked,

"How about you join me on my way to Cintra and we'll stop at your sisters house on the way."

"Truly? But I must leave now if i'm not to be caught."

"So we'll leave now."

"But Geralt you've already spent coin on a room!"

"We'll leave now."

That was six months ago they've had Ciri for two of them. The sun dips low on the horizon and Geralt decides they make camp. Geralt ties up roach and grabs some barley from his saddle bag and feeds Roach then begins the process of removing her saddle and brushing her. Meanwhile he watches as Jaskier starts building a fire with Cirilla out looking for sticks. He sees Jaskier join Ciri in the search for wood and kindling. Geralt unpacks their bedrolls and lays them out. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Jaskier drop what he's holding and rush towards Ciri smacking her hand and yelling at her. He reaches out to her after but she picks her sticks back up and runs back to camp sniffling she sits down in front of the small fire and looks miserable. Geralt gets up and walks to her, he leans down and hugs her head to his leg and keeps walking toward Jaskier. 

"Jaskier, why is Ciri so upset?" Geralt asks to Jaskiers crouched form as he collected kindling. Jaskier huffed in frustration and said,

"I yelled at her but I definitely shouldn't have, I saw her-" Geralt cut him off with an unwarranted,

"No you shouldn't have."

"I know I could've handled it better but I saw her pick poisonous berries and put them up to her mouth so I smacked them out of her hands and I definitely didn't mean to yell I was just worried." 

"Well i'm unsurprised that she's upset, you've been snapping at her all day, earlier in town and on our way here, you keep bossing her around." 

"Yeah sorry for keeping her safe! I'm sorry she doesn't love me like you and we don't have some magical destiny witcher bond that made us close instantly. Look I can't protect her from much, but in town when she was playing with those children several suspicious people were watching her so I called her over to me, then back in the woods she was running off in a fantasy off the path so yeah I called her back, and just now I stopped her from being poisoned from misidentifying berries. She's only 10 I try my best to keep her safe." Jaskier ended his rant with a huff. Geralt feels bad for immediately taking Ciri's side without finding out anything.

"I- I just want you to love her like I do." Geralt relents. Jaskier sighs combing his hair from his face.

"I do love her, but we've only met two months ago and the pressure from you wanting us to get along isn't helping it has to happen on it's own. This isn't the first time you've accused me of not loving her. I want to be close with her and have her love me the same as you but it won't happen with you forcing it." Jaskier finished, picking up his sticks and going off further in search of more, Geralt knew not to follow. Geralt let out a frustrated breath. He hadn't meant to imply he didn't love her but he'd basically said that anyway. Geralt wished he could just stop hurting Jaskier with his thoughtless words.

\----------

Jaskier walked further away from camp until he could no longer hear the cracking of the fire. When he thought he'd made it far enough he dropped his fire building materials and scrunched up next to the base of a tree and cried out all his frustration. He loved the man but sometimes are more difficult than others. He just hated feeling like the third wheel to the daddy daughter duo. He wanted to feel apart of it too. Not to mention the fact that Geralt undermines him and even thinks him unfeeling to Ciri, when nothing could be further from the truth. He did everything he could to keep her safe, definitely more than his dad did. As a child he was frequently left behind in the market or at the pub, left with random 'aunts' and 'uncles' who were really just associates he told to watch him. He was even left behind as collateral on a loan his father took out just to buy more booze and whores. Jaskier didn't mean to scare Ciri he was just scared himself. What if he hadn't noticed before it was too late and she had died just like that. He didn't know there were so many dangers out there until he had to watch out for another. Jaskier decides to forget it all for now and to get back before the fire goes out and he can't find his way. He stands up to dust off his clothes and wipe his eyes with the back of his hands. He lets out a breath and grabs the fire stuff and follows the light back to camp.

He's definitely regretting his choice to have walked so far away. The trees were looming and imposing at night compared to the comfort they give him during the day. He's travelled long enough with Geralt to know weird shit hides around at night, especially in dark scary woods. The wind definitely wasn't helping either, whistling around the trunks making it sound barren of all life. Honestly not pleasant. Jaskier wouldn't admit it later but he did start to speed walk back to camp. Approaching the thatchet of trees surrounding the camp, Jaskier heard an inhuman whine. Goosebumps covered his skin, the wood falling out of his grasp. Jakier pulled the dagger Geralt had gifted him a long time ago and made closer to the clearing of their camp. Roaches neighing was heard before the clashing of what he could only assume was Geralt's sword against something hard. Jaskier made it past the line of trees and saw the camp. Geralt was holding back a creature which looked like a human fucked a mountain lion. He'd never seen such a thing in all his travels with Geralt. Around 6ft, a furry humanoid with a large cats head and clawed but almost taloned hands fought against the witcher. Not just one but two. Ciri was hiding behind a tree just by roach. Jaskier could tell she was frightened but she, like him, was also clutching her dagger in a vice watching Geralt. The lion swiped at Geralt which he easily dodged, lunging into an attack on the other unprepared lion. He didn't have a scratch on him but then again neither did either of the monsters. After another minute of blocking and slashing Geralt landed a hit on the smaller of the two creatures cutting off the arm of it causing it to screech. Another hit landed taking off it's head. In the corner of his eye he sees movement in the shadows he looks over to see another one of those creatures stalking slowly towards Ciri's back. Without thinking Jaskier sprints towards her. The lion sees him and gets ready to pounce. Jaskier slides in behind Ciri and hardly has time to exhale before the monster's claws rake down his back cutting him down to the ground, Ciri turns and screams,

"Jaskier!" The thing is now looking hungrily at her. Jaskier struggles back to his feet thenon uneven footing takes his dagger and swipes at it. This only makes it mad and it turns and screeches at him. Jaskier's legs are shaking and his back is on fire, he can feel the blood sliding down his back and down his legs. He knows he doesn't have much strength left. With it's attention back on him, Ciri lunged and stabbed it in the back and it roared turning towards her once more. Just as it was about to swipe her Jaskier tackled the cat down and stabbed it's torso, the creature dug its claws in his sides and flipped them over. The monster reared back it's head latched on to his shoulder. It's bite nawinging and tearing at his throat. Jaskier let out a cry which was silenced by the jaws being pulled away. Jaskier was shaking as he grew colder and colder. Ciri is next to him grabbing at his clothes and shaking him.

"Please get up Jaskier please." she could barely get out around her sobs. Geralt dispatched the monster and fell to his knees next to Jaskier his golden eyes raking over his body. His strong warm hands squeezing his shoulder trying to hold all the blood in, but obviously failing from the way Geralt became foggier as the edges of his vision grew dark.

"Jaskier you idiot I-I you... _goddamn it_." Geralt's voice soft and pleading.

He could hear Ciri sobbing next to him. Jaskier managed to move his hand to his shoulder grabbing on to one of Geralt's wrists. Jaskier opened his mouth to say 'I love you' but all that came out was a pained squeak. Geralt growled. Jaskier felt liquid drop onto his face. He couldn't see anymore.

"Julian please don't leave me."

Then one by one his remaining senses fell away until there was just nothing.

\------

The red around him grew larger as Jaskier became still under Geralt's hands. The shaking stopping and the rise and fall of his chest did too. Jaskier's hand fell away from his. They were too far to find a healer and even if they could he wasn't so lame as to think anything could be done. Geralt slid his arms underneath the bards body and clutched him close to his chest letting out a wail of anger and pain. It echoed through the empty forest leaving it silent again save Ciri's crying. Just then a portal opened up in front of them and out came Yennefer whom he hadn't seen in more than a year, Geralt's eyes hardly strayed away from his love's pale face. Yennefer looked around herself then to the witcher and Cirilla a mess on the ground.

"Oh. Oh shit." Was all Yen could come up with. She earned a heated glare from Geralt. But what else could she say when a person is ripped up in front of her and a man she thought near unemotional has tears running down his face. "How long ago did this happen?" Geralt ignored her but Ciri answered,

"A few minutes ago" her sobs slowing just tears pouring down her face. Yennefer conjured up a bottle filled with dark green liquid. She dropped in front of Geralt and he finally looked at her. She gestured her giving the potion to Jaskier.

"Let him be witch." he bit out.

"I may be able to save him. Can I at least try, it'll either work or not but we have to act fast." Yennefer searched his face for an answer and received the smallest nod. She took that as a go and turned the bards face towards her and uncorked the bottle. She pulled his mouth open and poured the chunky liquid down his throat. "This potion will place his body in a stasis so we have time to work. Please follow me." Yennefer untied roach and opened a portal gesturing for them to follow Ciri was the first through. Geralt gathered Jaskier further in his arms and walked through the portal ending up outside of a small keep on the coast. Yennefer follows through with Roach the portal closing behind them.


End file.
